Journey To Motherhood, my first year of being a mother... February 07 2014, 0 Comments

I connected with our Journey mom Sandhya through MB's own Jessica Glorieux who have started a Brooklyn community site with useful information for us parents to connect. It has been some time since we have posted a Journey. Without fail I always love reading and sharing them for it is always nice (and a relief!) to hear what others mothers have to say.

Name: Sandhya Jain-Patel 

Hometown: Marlboro, NJ (shhh!) 

How long have you've been living in Brooklyn? My husband and I moved from the Upper West Side in 2005, and haven't looked back! We were in Fort Greene for a few years and then moved to Williamsburg about 3.5 years ago.

Occupation:

1) Over-time mother, and loving it!

2) Expert in Indian and Southeast Asian Art and Head of Sale, Christie's 

3) Co-Founder of WillyPoint Kids (another full-time job!) 

When Did you first Become a Mother?26 July 2011, and I hope to repeat the process :)

Before becoming a mother, what did you know about motherhood? Was the reality close to your personal image/idea? For a long time I only knew my own experience from a child's point of view, and I guess you can say that's why I waited a while to become a mother myself. I was terrified to repeat certain...behaviors, and I also had to make sure I was ready for the personal sacrifices it would take (for example, giving up my position as a semi-professional dancer in a local Bollywood Dance troupe, etc). But by the time I was ready, I had several close friends who had their own children and were becoming my role models for the kind of parent I wanted to be. 

Now that I'm here, I would say that while the reality is close to my pre-imagined / ordained image, I know it can change any and every day, and I just have to roll with the changes. I get a lot of comfort, knowledge and confidence from Dr. Laura Markham's "Aha Parenting!" blog.

How would you describe the first year? Well, the first two months were *tough*, it's true that breastfeeding is the hardest thing one could ever do (as told to me by a super-smart engineering woman with her own company!). And the hormone-induced emotional rollercoaster combined with lack of sleep was no picnic, but I just kept telling myself that I was lucky to have every moment of this experience, and that someday I would miss it. And that's all true! After I went back to work (after 12 weeks) and we got into a rhythm, with the breastfeeding, pumping, nanny, etc, it got easier. I wish I could get a couple of weeks back now, and spend the same QT with my son as I did then. Maybe a stay-cation is in order...

Did you have support such as family or friends? Very dear, dear friends who really helped me, some from before we became parents, and many from my birth cohort (shout-out to the Summerinos 2011 and Caribou's Friday meet-ups) in this neighborhood. Without them, especially during those first few months, I would have been lost. 

Share with us how WillyPointKids came about? What can we expect from your site?  WillyPoint kids is borne from my desire to give back to this community that has given me so much, and to pay it forward to new parents and families. WPK is a platform to connect families in and around these Brooklyn neighborhoods to any resources they need in NYC, for children ages NB-12yo. I hope everyone -- families, goods and service providers -- will get onto the site and make connections with each other. I'm really just here to facilitate that. We have a free calendar of events, again anyone who logs in from Facebook or is a member can submit their events. We're doing weekly blogs, and would love to invite writers and other contributors who need a megaphone for their unique voice. We have discussion groups that will have experts in the subject answer questions posted there, we have a classifieds section and will be adding a separate caregiver and housekeeper section, and we have a free directory listing providers for anything and, in time, everything a person could need. Many of those listed in our directory give our members a discount on their goods/services, and in time we will also be adding member-posted reviews.

I'm inspired by so many accomplished moms I see around me, I just want to make it easier and more fun for us all.


Journey To Motherhood, My first year being a mama... March 22 2013, 0 Comments

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Name: Michele Walthers
Hometown: Plainview, New York
Current town: Living in Glen Cove, New York 3 years
living in NY my entire life, all different areas

Occupation: Mom and Freelance Graphic Designer

When did you first become a mother? First became a mom to Milo on December 23, 2008. 

Before becoming a mother, what did you know about motherhood? Was the reality close to your personal image/idea? Before becoming a mom, I wanted to have four children. I grew up in a very large Italian family. Everything revolved around family and I wanted to continue my traditions with a big family of my own. I always saw how the women in the family were so strong and important, basically the glue that held everything together. The moms always knew what to do and how to do it. I soon found out that sometime, that is not always the case. That it is God who is really in charge and life constantly throws you curve balls.

How would you describe the first year? My first year of motherhood was the worst year of my life…and madness continued through the second year. After giving birth to my beautiful son, I was hit so hard with postpartum depression. Something I knew nothing about and was never educated about. A terrible condition that my doctors never told me could happen to me. Something that came upon me and robbed me and my son of two whole years of bond time.

Did you have a support system near by? I had an amazing support system. That was the only reason I was able to get throw. Along with an amazing husband, I had two women with me each and every day I needed them. One was a postpartum therapist who was like an angel sent to me from God and the other was my wonderful mother. The irony: becoming a mom for the first time but needing my own mom at the same time to get me thought the hardest time of my life. She never let me down and was amazing not only to me but to my son.

How do you like being a  mom to a boy? Don’t they just live their mamas?!

Today, my son is a beautiful four year-old boy who loves life and all that surrounds him. He and I have a great relationship and I am proud to say I am a great mom to him. But he also has a great father, grandparents and other family members that enrich his life each and every day. It is so important to me that he spends so much time with his loved ones and will have so many great memories to carry through his entire life.

Tips for new moms?

One thing that I have learned through my most difficult times in life is that you do not need to go through hard times alone. Ask and you shall receive and always remember that we were meant to live together as they did in tribal days, to help one another and have support systems. To not be alone. To live together.