Our Goldfish Died

November 08, 2017

In addition to my three kids we also love pets. Our black cat, Izzy has been with me since 2000.  Then, as I told here we got a dog in 2014. A few goldfish have come and gone (thanks to those toss bowl tanks at the street fairs!). But two were strong and have been with us for a few years. Sadly, over the summer one died, Emmet, and the other, HushHush, ate it (!!!!!!). Sorry kids!  I promised we would get some tropical fish when school started. So in early October, we got 8 tropical fish and 5 have remained strong. Then a few weeks ago I saw a post on social media about a cat that needed a home. I don’t know why, but the cat, Charlie, spoke to me and shockingly, my husband said ok. So Charlie joined our family. 

Since Izzy is 17 years old, she isn’t super active. She loves a good head rub and the sight of a treat bag makes her run up to you. But, she’s old. She sleeps. Wanders around. Sleeps some more.

Enter Charlie, who is about 2. He jumps. He climbs. He runs. So, while the tropical fish are safely in their enclosed tank, our lone goldfish, HushHush, was in a bowl in the kitchen. It actually took almost two weeks for Charlie to notice him. But once he did, he was relentless. So, I moved the bowl.  Immediately HushHush was anxious. Swimming all around. I joked that he didn’t like his new scenery. The next day we woke up, and he was dead.

The kids took it well. A simple goodbye ceremony. Me?  I was upset. Not so much that a street fair goldfish died after about 4 years, but a life that depended on me, died. I pride myself on my caretaking abilities.  Not just as a mother, but as a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a wife, and a friend. While I’m not always on the top of my game, I try. I try to be good at so many things. And when one ball is dropped, in this case, a goldfish, I worry that more balls will drop. 

Being a parent can be so overwhelming at times. You have to juggle. A lot. One kid. Three kids. A kid is a kid, and these days each kid requires a lot. So, while more kids equal ‘more’, just one kid is intense too. Someone is relying on you for life. For basic needs like food and warmth and love. For knowledge. For help. For everything.  Clean clothes. Baths. Food..... shopping for food, prepping food, cooking food, storing food, washing food containers..... it never ends!  And add it all up and it is exhausting. But we march on. We slice the apples each day because it’s a healthy snack.  We marinate some chicken. We make ‘healthy’ muffins. We fold the laundry and pick up all the game pieces. We hang up the wet towel and clean the toilet. We stay up far too late just to have a moment to ourselves. And then we wake up and repeat.
This goldfish was a wake-up call that I need to up my game. After that first week of school rush, I quickly fell off the bike and felt overwhelmed and sometimes when I’m overwhelmed I just toss in the towel. We were eating too much pizza and somehow each week instead of grocery shopping I was picking up an item here and another item there.  My meal planning fell apart since I wasn’t doing proper grocery runs. And I was feeling discouraged. 
But, luckily I have a great husband that is supportive. And my mama friends are so much more than just mama friends and they send me easy recipes or tell me when my favorite items are on sale. So, thanks to all that love and support, I pick myself up. I go to the store. And I buy a cart full of food. Good, healthy, food.  And I go home and I chop. And mix. And cook. And like many mamas, feel happy when my kids have full bellies. Now. If only the seasons would cooperate and I can feel as though I’ve dressed my children in seasonally appropriate clothes......... inevitably they are underdressed on a cold day, so then I layer them up the next day only for it to hit the mid 70s. Sigh. 

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