Last night at a work event I ran into a new mom with a six month baby boy. This new mom shared with me how tired, busy and lack of a social life she was now living. Of course, this all sounded quite familiar and it wasn’t lost to us that after working a nine hour day we were still working! The first year is the hardest we start to hear as soon as we announce that a baby is on the way, just how hard is it? What I have learned it is different for everyone, some breeze through it, for others- not so easy. This is why we will be sharing a new series on Motherburg- Journey to Motherhood. You’ll read about many of your fellow moms and their first year which is why It only seems appropriate to start with ourselves! Check out my Q&A with Jessica on her first year.
If you’d like to share your first year with us, feel free to comment here, our facebook page or send us a tweet! We’d love to share your story!
Hometown: Greenpoint, Brooklyn
How long have you’ve been living in Wiliamsburg/Brooklyn: 7 years
Occupation: Co-owner of Motherburg NYC
When did you first become a mother? July 11, 2009
Before becoming a mother, what did you know about motherhood? What was your idea of what you felt your life would be like?
In retrospect, I knew very little about babies. I knew a lot about children as I used to teach Montessori but babies are a totally different ballgame. I’m not sure I knew what I was thinking!
How would you describe the first year?
My first year was stressful and chaotic. I just had no idea how consuming a baby would be and while I had mom friends, I still felt very alone; like I was doing something wrong and everyone knew what was right or how to have a baby but me. I’m sure that I had some mild post-partum depression and having a baby who didn’t sleep very well didn’t help matters.
How did you get through it?
I have no idea! Ha! I did a few coaching courses and therapy- That was pretty big in terms of getting through. Also finding a few close mom friends I could tell the whole truth to helped too.
Did it help having a family member close by?
Yes! My sister was a huge help in terms of babysitting and letting me go to mom’s night out!
You’ve been a mother for 3 years now, what lessons have you learn?
Wow - 3 whole years. Feels like I’ve always been a mom! Here are the top three things I deal with the most in my practice & what I tell new moms:
1) Relax. Relax and Relax.
2) Define your own values and start there. One of the exercises I do with new moms is really looking at their life and deciding whats valuable and making choices from that place vs. from where you think you’re supposed to be. There is no perfect, there is no one right way and there is no such thing as ‘having it all’. Have what you want
3) Get support when you need it and be honest. You aren’t alone & everything you’re feeling someone else is too.
Tips for new moms?
Self-care! Massages, mani/pedi’s, yoga/exercise class, educational lectures, support groups or therapy, mom’s nights out: Schedule 15 minutes daily and at the very least 1 hour weekly. Make it a family priority- It will make all the difference in the world. Mammas are the lighthouses and their light needs to stay bright!
Photo, Jessica Glorieux